Poem: Future oh Future!

Future, oh future Are you finally here? I seek you next week, next month Even next year I strain to find you As I struggle and search I am still afraid You’ll leave me in the lurch So tell me, oh tell me What will you be? Good, bad, or ugly? What will I see? Sadly, I get the feeling I will never find you With all my scratching, clawing, managing I’m exhausted, I’m through “Why, dear child, are you longing to see? I dwell in each new moment And you’re looking Past me” “Don’t rush me too fast Don’t hurry me along It’s in the present Where you belong” “You’ll never manage me Or my hidden ways Just love in each moment With each passing day”

“Yet I always return again As we often meet You see me constantly With each heartbeat” “I appear not in whole But only in part The big picture yet to be seen An amazing work of art!” “The goal is not to find me But to let me create A wonderful life for you I know what’s at stake” “Like the caterpillar dwells In the cocoon inside It’s beauty takes patience The butterfly takes time” But what about all the plans You want me to begin? Can’t I see a glimpse? Can’t I peek in? “Please plan your best As I fully understand Opportunity often awaits Those who have planned” “But just remember To live with outstretched hands Because life is in the moment Regardless of where you land”

Don’t Settle for Anything Less Than Your “Perfect” Mate

Compatibility Isn’t Enough; We’re Talking About Perfection

If you’re someone who believes that choosing the person you marry is the second most important decision you can make after choosing Christ, then it makes logical sense to find the perfect, or near perfect, mate. As you’ve been preparing for this “perfect” person all of these years, you’ve put time and energy into planning your life, realizing your dreams, and becoming a decent human being. You want to make sure that your future spouse has done the same.

You’ve had a lot of time to work on your idiosyncrasies, pay down your debt, sponsor a child in a developing country, and even endured therapy so you’re not as weird as you used to be. The bottom line is that you’ve got your life together (sort of), and you wouldn’t want just anyone taking on that spousal position without good cause. So where do people find their perfect match?

One popular dating website boasts that it matches marriage-seekers with partners through almost 30 levels of compatibility. At first, this matching system might seem robust, but why settle for a meager 30? Instead, why not make your goal 100 or even 1,000 levels of compatibility? Even 1,000 points of compatibility make for a small number when trying to find the “perfect” mate. If you’re waiting for another life, this is the only one, so not why go for the gusto?

Meet My Perfect Spouse: Teresa Universe
I’ve pondered who would be my perfect match, and my conclusion is that she would be a cross between Mother Teresa of Calcutta and the latest winner of the Ms. Universe Pageant. First, she would be Mother Teresa because she would be the most devoted and caring Christian woman. Her servant-hearted example and ever-compassionate spirit would be evident to everyone she meets. Then, if this saint could morph herself into Ms. Universe, my benevolent, sacrificial woman would also have the physical beauty of Aphrodite herself—a female god with a “hot bod.”

Part of me believes I’m entitled to Teresa Universe because I’ve waited such a long time to be married, being 38 years old. I’ve also led mission teams around the world, I’ve been counseled by same mentor for fourteen years (who is a marriage-and-family therapist), and I don’t kick the dog when I come home. With this attitude, I continue to paint my future spouse into a masterpiece and am convinced she’ll definitely be either a Picasso or Rembrandt.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this: Most of us have probably painted an image of our perfect spouse in our minds—what he/she looks like, what types of activities this individual likes, how many children the person wants, etc.—and we are certain that this perfect spouse will fulfill everything on our mental checklist.

Jesus Values Perfectionism Too
If you’re like me and seek perfection, you’re on the right path because God does this as well; in fact, he commands it. Jesus, during his famous Sermon on the Mount, gives this charge to the crowd: “Be perfect…as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). However, the Greek word for “perfect” here is “telioi,” and it means moral “maturity” or “wholeness¹” as related to the character of Christ. Telioi is the same root word as used in James 1:4, which states, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” As its author, God certainly values perfectionism, but it is in stark contrast to how Hollywood, popular culture, Christian culture, or I would define it.

There are three foundational truths we can take away from the command to “Be perfect…as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Truth #1: First, being perfect from a Biblical perspective concerns moral maturity and character development. This idea is closely related to a passage in Ephesians that mentions “put[ting] on the new self,” and another word from Galatians 5:22 that discusses having the “fruit of the spirit.”

Truth #2: Second, we learn from this verse that the challenge is to us, not to someone else. It is much easier to pull the splinter out of someone else’s eye when the plank is first removed from ours.

Truth #3: Third, since God values being perfect as “wholeness” and “moral maturity,” it should be one of our main criteria for finding a spouse as well. If we’re not allowing God to paint His picture on our canvas for the perfect spouse, then our own selfish wants and desires will inevitably control the brushstrokes instead.

What Do I Do Now?
From a position of assuredness in Christ, we should pursue character development daily. This is accomplished with grace-filled effort as we consistently trade our ideas of perfection with God in exchange for His. Practically speaking, Psalm 139 is perfect for us to pray: “search me” and “see if there is any offensive way in me.” Then, as God reveals things to us, we need to repent and ask him to change our hearts—we certainly cannot change our hearts alone. (In fact, it’s not even close.) And remember that repentance is always a gift and a privilege from God.

As you take the pressure off yourself and exchange misguided ideas of perfectionism with God’s definition, it will free other people in your life from having to meet your unrealistic expectations as well. But if you choose to keep “cutting and pasting” others’ personal attributes to create your own version of Teresa Universe, you’ll continue to be frustrated. Why? For one, your search will be endless because that theoretical person will not exist outside of your mind. Moreover, we are all fallen people who will marry someone just as insecure, needy, and as unfinished as we are, who needs Christ in their life just as much as we do.

Speaking to ladies in particular, you’re certainly not off the hook either. If your idea of the perfect man would be sewing together the face of Brad Pitt, with the allure of George Clooney, the faith of Billy Graham, and the adventurous spirit of John Eldredge, you won’t get the perfect husband. Instead, you’ll get Frankenstein. Please don’t marry Frankenstein. He ravaged German villages, and people were scared of him.

The point is that true perfection, as defined by God, has the goal of moral maturity and character development as defined by Christ’s life. It will take more than a lifetime to attain it, but if you start by falling in love with the process of being like Christ and find someone else who values this as well, you will be on a solid foundation to begin a serious relationship.

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1) Blomberg, C. (1992). Vol. 22: Matthew. The New American Commentary (115). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.

Poem: All-In

With the Divine Dealer
My bet is all-in
All my eggs in His basket
Nowhere else to begin

My gifts with fail me
And no more tricks up my sleeve
Trusting in You
There is no plan B

In one stock alone
All my faith to invest
The payout left to God
This is my test

So to the highest diving board
With faith I climb
The view from the top
Brings shivers down my spine

“But why jump from the highest-dive?”
Someone might say
“When lower diving boards
Give a much safer way?”

Because God wants everything
And everything He must own
For our hearts to be His
And to worship Him alone

True freedom is found
When we give God our all
Make way here I come
“Cannonball!”

Poem: Heart Surgery

'Ouch, God, Please don’t poke me there That hole in my heart hurts Please take care!' “Healing I can give you I am more than able Just give me permission To place you on the operating table” “The surgery is long So let me begin But this painful procedure Will benefit you in the end” On the table I lie With chest spread wide open The surgeon begins To heal what was broken 'Where is my heart? I don’t see it anymore!' “It’s in my hands” I’m making it whole” ‘Ouch!’ once again My heart is hurting The Doctor smiles again “I’m making it sturdy”

“Broken bones mend very soon Quickly to be cured But compared to a heart This process must be endured” 'Ouch' times three! When will this pain be undone? Can I really trust in Him This Hidden Surgeon? Months pass and The operation is complete My chest is sore And my body weak A small scar on my chest But a joy I can’t I hide My heart is not just fixed But a new one inside! “I am proud of you, my son You have great things in store Your heart has been healed To love even more”

7 Reasons Why Your Faith is Wrong

Exercising faith is pleasing to God. It shows that we believe in Him and what He’s capable of doing, even when we do not see it yet. Faith trusts in the future God-Kingdom and even calls that future into the present. But it’s easy to confuse faith with wishful thinking, especially when we really desire a certain outcome. Faith is grounded in the character and nature of God while wishful thinking is caught up in outcomes and what we want. Along these lines, I will discuss seven reasons why your faith-thinking could be wrong:

Wishful Thinking: I name it; I claim it!
Faith: God names it; I claim it.

Wishful thinking gets half of this equation right in the “I claim it part,” but 50% accuracy is still a solid “F” on the grading scale. We need to focus on what God wants us to claim, not on the temporal rewards that the “prosperity gospel” tells us to claim. The Bible emphasizes that we should claim joy in suffering (James 1:2), peace in tribulation (John 16:33), and faith in a better world to come (Hebrews 11:16). He also wants us to claim God’s character in our lives through the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22) and not to store up treasures where “moths and rust destroy” (Matthew 6:19).

Wishful Thinking: I trust in my “faith” and my desired outcome.
Faith: I trust in a Person (our great God), regardless of the outcome.

Most of us don’t have the special gift of healing, or we’re still developing it. Since faith is about knowing God and trusting Him, I think it’s more correct to pray “Lord, I pray for this person’s healing” and leave the outcome to God. This mindset is preferable to “Lord, I know you want to heal this person right here, right now.” We should definitely pray bold prayers in faith. However, a sure sign that such prayers have turned into wishful thinking is when someone’s relationship with God gets crushed because God doesn’t produce a desired outcome. Meanwhile, if you have the certainty of an Apostle Paul and can jump on people and raise them back to life without even asking God, then go for it (Acts 20:10).

Wishful Thinking: Sees life as a playground
Faith: Sees life as a battleground

Wishful thinking focuses on being happy and being comfortable in this life. If our goal is happiness, we should heed the words of Dallas Willard, who said that such people are already on the road to addiction. I agree with Mr. Willard. The Bible never promises happiness, but it does promise joy in trials and ensures us that God will be with us through them all. The Christian life is not for the timid. That’s why Jesus taught us to pray for God’s kingdom to come. The more we accept life as a battleground, the more it shows our need for Christ to change it and give us the faith we need to endure it. In the cartoon show, Futurama, there is a robot named Hedonsim-Bot who is always eating grapes off of his belly and whose only goal is pleasure and decadence. Don’t be like Hedonsim-Bot.

Wishful Thinking: God as a negotiator
Faith: God as a giver

Wishful thinking encourages people to barter with God on the basis of merit and entitlement while faith sees every blessing as a gift. Wishful thinkers see themselves as deserving of marriage, finances, opportunities, good health, etc., because of their own “upstanding and stellar” spiritual life. On the other hand, faith-thinkers abound in thanksgiving because their sonship (or “daughtership”) is already secure in Christ, and God gives to them on His accord. People of faith always remember the horrible depravity from which Christ has already saved them and still trust Him even if they don’t receive all of their desired wishes this side of heaven.

Wishful Thinking: God as a genie, ready to do my will
Faith: God as a father; I’m ready to do His will.

I often play a game with God where I ask for an amazing parking spot. I pray this wholeheartedly, not because I believe God’s divine will in the universe is to give me a spot right in front of the store, but because I think God has a huge sense of humor, likes to play with his children, and answers ridiculous prayers. But if this attitude it taken too far, it turns into wishful thinking, and we then view God as some sort of cosmic genie. If we have this view, we see God as being ready and willing to do our will at any moment, instead of our being ready and willing to do His will at any moment.

Wishful Thinking: Ananias and Sapphira
Faith: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

Ananias and Sapphira hoped they could worship God and lie to the Holy Spirit at the same time. They were wrong, and they dropped dead instead. They became the epitome of wishful thinkers. They worried about “keeping some for themselves” and didn’t have the faith to be honest. Wishful thinkers often want to compromise—to have the best of both worlds—and frequently use words like “balance,” “moderation,” and “middle ground.” In reality, faith says, “Regardless of the cost, I will not worship any idols.” Like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, we should say, “But even if he [God] does not [save us]…we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:18).

Wishful Thinking: Salvation is a noun.
Faith: Salvation is a noun, then a verb.

We are not just saved from something; we are saved to something. There is no doubt we are saved by God’s grace through no work of our own, but wishful thinking says that our religion stops at receiving a “get-out-of-jail-free-card.” However, James includes “looking after orphans and widows” as true religion (1:27), and like Timothy, we are commanded to “train…to be godly” (1 Timothy 4:8). Both of these activities require effort. This is not surprising since the Greek word used for “training” is “gymnaze,” from which we get the word “gym.” Do you want a “six-pack” of salvation? If you do, then sign-up for a God-sized gym membership and train to be like Christ and love others as He would.

A Virtue of Virtues

by Eric Demeter

In one of my favorite movies, The Last Samurai, the character Nathen Aldren is a retired American soldier from the 1800’s, who gets hired to train an army to fight rebel samurai warriors in Japan. He travels to Tokyo, gets captured by the enemy and eventually does an about-face to join the samurai’s cause himself. In the last battle scene, he and Katsumoto, the samurai leader, travel to meet their enemy head-on, and are massively outnumbered by the Imperial Japanese Army. In their final effort to save their beloved village from destruction, they charge their enemy, and every soldier loses their life except Captain Aldren (hence, the movie’s title).

Aldren, Katsumoto, and the samurai army displayed courage to fight their more powerful enemy instead of retreating. They chose to face their oppressors, even though they knew it would be for almost certain death. They decided that it was better to die for what was right, instead of acquiescing to a cause they knew was wrong. 

How did they do it? Courage. Courage can be defined as the virtue to act in congruence with what is ultimately right and just, no matter the cost. Courage denies fear, but recognizes it, and courage is often contrary to the path of least resistance, even if the other path is ethically or morally viable. Courage acts in a way that is most loving for others, even when we might have to suffer pain ourselves. Also, as it’s often said, courage does not act in the absent of fear, but in spite of it.

Hearing stories of courageous people in the most dire of circumstances inspire us, because they remind us that persecution and death are not ultimately the things of which we should be afraid. Of course, in our in our daily lives, no matter our circumstances, we have the opportunity to display courage. This is because it takes courage to stop smoking, to end a relationship, to start a relationship, to love, to raise kids, to change your career, to keep your word, to work on a character flaw, to say no, to say yes, to stay true to yourself when fleeting desires constantly pull at our souls.

I am thankful that courage is not a limited resource—it is renewable, and it can grow like a monetary investment. We can do this by “encouraging” each other. To encourage simply means to give courage. Encouragement is a beautifully wrapped gift of an “I’m here for you” or “let me help you” or “let me listen” that we offer to each other in hard times, and even in easy times—there’s no wrong time to encourage! As each of us has different, gifts of courage will vary based on the individual’s needs at any point in time, so it is up to the receiver to decide what is, in fact, encouraging

Also, we needn’t wait for others to encourage us, because God is the ultimate Courage-Giver. He states in his Word:

• He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3) 
• Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deut. 31:6) 
• Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven (Matthew 5:11-12
• Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. (Eph 3:20)

C.S. Lewis stated that “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” In other words, courage is the metric, or plumb-line, that virtues like patience, temperance, charity, etc., get measured against—I agree. Another way to understand courage is that it’s the virtue that drives the others: We need courage to have patience, courage to have temperance, courage to do what is right, and courage to live in a way that honors God

So much of this life is based on courage. Do we have the courage to do what is right even when we might be embarrassed, ridiculed, or persecuted? Do we have the courage to that which God has called, even when other, more titillating opportunities arise? Do we have the courage to be vulnerable and look at ourselves and change? Do we have the courage to have the faith that we can trust God, even when circumstances look bleak?

Faith and courage are bound together like marriage partners. Some have said that faith is the “currency of heaven”, but I also believe that faith needs to be in an intimate, reciprocal relationship with courage. Faith is a position of knowing and trusting, and God certainly responds to it, but we can’t exercise faith unless we have courage: Faith needs courage to believe, and courage takes faith to act.

I hope you are encouraged that courage can be given, grown, and gifted. Let’s make a habit of not holding back love, but of “Encouraging each other daily” (Hebrews 13.3).

The New Christian 4-Letter Swear Word

If you love me, obey my commandments. -Jesus

We are disobedient people—a lot like Ancient Israel actually. Their theological history forms the basis for ours, but unfortunately, their disobedience does as well. From the Beginning, Humankind was bent on disobeying God. The Creator tells Adam and Eve not to eat from the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and they do it anyway. God tells Moses to speak to the rock, and Moses strikes it; God warns David not to take a census, and voilà, now he has to choose a catastrophe for his country. Unfortunately, this pattern of disobedience threads its way through the rest of the Bible, into Acts, and into our lives as well.

This topic fascinates me because the word “obey” often elicits that latent part in us that instantly rebels. As such, this tiny four-letter-word is used so infrequently in our culture, outside of children and pets, because we have such an aversion to it. But why has it become almost unmentionable in sermons, and even a swear word? I think it’s simple: We hate being told what to do.

From a Christian point of view, it all boils down to an idol of autonomy. As children, we looked for independence and disobeyed our parents. When we entered the professional world, our bosses became hard to obey. Finally, when the late-comers, like myself, became Apprentices of Christ, the Teacher became difficult to obey.

Now, as we understand more of God and His amazing plan for our lives, why is it still hard to obey Him? Dallas Willard asks, “How can we trust God for our eternal salvation but not for the next sandwich?” Do we trust Him enough to obey Him in our daily lives as well?

The answers as to why we disobey are several fold, and they begin with our sinful nature. But I think the main reason is because a lot of us are “secret atheists”, in the words of Graham Cooke. Think about it, do we actually believe that God has the best in mind for our lives if we obey Him? Can we really trust Him? Does He really love enough that we don’t have to manipulate, manage, and coerce people and circumstances to get our own way?

Like a self-willed toddler, we love to find out for ourselves what lies on the other side of God’s Will, as our sinful wonder tests to see if the the proverbial stove is, in fact, hot. So our sinful nature certainly likes testing things: stoves, boundaries, even God—to see if the consequences are true. Some of you are smarter, and actually learn from God and others that stove-touching is harmful, while people like me, have burn scars and many long withstanding band-aids instead.

The more good news is that freedom awaits us on the other of the door of obedience. What are we free of, you ask? We are free to let our circumstantial cards fall where they may. We are free to be joyful because it no longer depends on us. We are free, because after we obey God, whatever else happens, its now not up to us.

Someone once said that when we obey God we should do it immediately, with joy, and completely. I agree, and try to remember that as Christians, we get to, we never have to.

Want to know a spiritual secret? The truth you might have been waiting for to propel you into a deeper relationship with God? Then come close…come really really close so God can whisper it in your ear: The fastest way to growing closer to Him is by obeying Him in everything, even in the small things.